Since my birth I have had an affinity with computers, I’m never sure if that’s because I know they will be our doom or just because the unemotional reliability of a machine is something I can identify with. Then again perhaps it is because they contain the most perfect form of entertainment I can think of.
A gamer geek to most, there are parts of me no-one has delved into and discovered, to others I’m just a drunk person that stand in the corner of the club until the alcohol level reaches a point where I feel the urge to flail wildly on the dance floor and take out those in close proximity. Despite the nights out now having reached a level where maybe a night on the town occurs once every 4 months I’ve not yet given up my love of them. Sure I get the weird butterflies before going out and being around hundreds of people I don’t know, the paranoia my attire is no longer cool, that anyone could be after the contents of my pockets, spoiling for a fight or just intent on being so loud & rowdy they ruin it for everyone else. But once that first sensual touch from the bottom of that first drink slips down my throat I shuffle off the paranoia of the sober, insular and restrained self, instead embarking on the journey to merriment and where, for a few hours a year, nothing worries me and I can enjoy life to the extent we should be doing every day of our lives.
If you want to know anything else then you have to come to me and ask.
To keep you enthused the Etherfiend has provided random things for you to digest.
- I suck at losing weight
- Chinese food is losing ground to Indian and fish and chips as my favourite take-away meal…this could explain random fact 1
- Exercise is too time-consuming…hmm the evidence is mounting for random fact 1
- I hate txtsp33k, but began using it to take the pi55, now I can’t St0P B31Ng D0Wn with the kidz.
- R&B and rap can suck my balls, M C Hammer was about the best it got for that genre. Seriously.
- I’ve never been to a festival, but really want to go, but hate the whole sleeping in your own shit thing and not knowing if a junked up hoodie will stab you to death in the night for your toilet roll.
- I tend to exaggerate like two hundred thousand million times a day.
- Despite popular belief I do prefer women to my Xbox360 and PC. It’s not like I have a choice at the moment.
- Roast chicken is the best dinner ever. Roast chicken dinner with bread sauce is almost better than making love to Sheridan Smith (or how great I imagine that is as I haven’t yet achieved that life goal).
- I like llamas.
- I don’t pleasure them. Just to be clear and yes I mean the animals, llama isn’t a cool new phrase for chicks, foxes or any other animal related terms used to depict the ladies.
- I do however like ladies.
- I have a lot of regrets in my life, bizarrely a couple of regrets are also the greatest things that happened in my life.
- I do believe we are slaves to the corporate world and the concepts in 1984 are coming closer to being real than ever.
- I cannot answer the question “What do you want from life?”. It changes on a daily basis depending on if I feel lonely and unloved or if I have no money in my wallet.
- The ridiculously high level of political correctness in modern society is ghey.
- My favourite drink is vodka and coke.
- I once drank a bar out of vodka. (I don’t think it was a solo effort though).
- I ponder about things an awful lot when I am on my own.
- I’m too lazy for my own good in everything I do.
- Some people call me the space cowboy. Yeah! Some call me the gangster of love. Some people call me Maurice. They’re all wrong, I’m Etherfiend. Ether for short, or Et if you are running short on time.
- I will never abseil again.